When I was younger I HATED change. Up until I was a junior in high school, I always cried on the first day of school because 1) I had a whole school year ahead of me and 2) because everything was different. It's not so much that I didn't like school, I just missed my teachers and routine from the year before. I cried when I left for college and cried when I first moved across the country to live in LA.

But now I'm starting to realize that change can be a really good thing. Especially for someone who gets bored as easily as I do.

What is the point of staying in a job where you are a miserable or staying in a relationship that you know isn't going anywhere just because it's become comfortable? Exactly. When I was first offered my job I was told it was temporary but would most likely become permanent which actually made me feel better about it because I felt like I could leave at anytime. I've always been scared of any kind of commitment.

Last week my boss told me that the position was not approved to become permanent (so I'd still get paid hourly and no benefits or paid vacation) and also, that they would be doubling my responsibilities which would include invoices, Yuck. So I think now is a good time to leave. It's scary because I don't know what I will do next or how much time they will give me to stay there before I find something else but I've been pretty miserable and it's much more fun to be happy.

Friday night Kristie and I went to Westwood to get a diddy reese ice cream sandwich for $1.25. I love Krisitie because she is probably my only friend who would drive all the way to Westwood with me to get a cookie. Next, we went to Maloney's which brought back a lot of memories from the summer I fell in love and had the perfect summer romance only to come back the next summer and have him be a complete asshole. This is why if you do have the perfect summer romance YOU SHOULD NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!! If you are thinking: it's better to know what would happen then to always wonder I'll save you the suspence. It's much better to wonder and keep your perfect memory. It's amazing how I can be so over everything and go to Westwood and it all just comes flooding back. This is why I rarely go to Westwood. But Neal and I are friends again so I am able to call and tell him I am in Westwood and it always reminds me of what an asshole he was. I think he loves when I do that.

Saturday, I had another shoot with Jake Davis and Erica Sanchez did my make up again. They are both so amazing. It's always fantastic to see how you can look when you're all done up and the perfect lighting hides all of your flaws. They are both on myspace so seriously girls, you should shoot with Jake or have Erica do your make up for a shoot or special event.

Eric and I went to brunch at saddle ranch where I was all done up with fake eye lashes galore. Maybe that's why Eric thought it would be fun to tell people that I was working as a stripper by the airport. This is not true however.

Last night Amy and I went to Mood. I've missed Mood. I met two guys. The first thing my mom asked is if they were actors or reality stars. I am happy to report that they are NOT. One, I really want to call and the other I don't want to call at all sooo he will definitely call and the other one won't because that's just how it works.

Speaking of guys, I used to really detest Valentine's Day but now I think I am at peace with it. I'd so much rather have a guy randomly send me flowers because he wanted to then because he felt obligated to because Hallmark created this stupid day. So it doesn't matter that I am 100% single because I know I deserve someone and will meet someone who will know that I'd rather have pink daisies then cheesy red roses and I don't need presents but just a sweet card that I can put in a box and keep forever. Although if a present came with the sweet card I'd be ok with that. And dressing in black and going out with my favorite girls to celebrate the fact that we refuse to settle sounds pretty damn good right now :-)

As horrible as this sounds, when some celebrities die my first thought is "I am so glad I am not at The Insider right now" because generally I wish I stayed there in my crazy dysfunctional insider family. And usually the celebrities that die are old and have lived long, amazing lives. But when Anna Nicole Smith died I just felt really sad. The whole thing is so insane and tragic and I can't say that I'm not intrigued and don't check perezhilton event more than usual to find out the latest but it is just so sad.

But like my fate tattoo symbolized I really believe everything happens for a reason. Hopefully Anna is with Daniel and her little baby will end up with someone who can give her a chance at a normal life. Change is good. When you get rid of the negative things in your life it can be scary to have to start all over but now I know I'm going to be happier. And I've really started to pursue my writing more which is exciting.And if you are going through big changes, I highly recommend getting some really hot pics!!

Next weekend my sister is coming to visit and I am so excited. She is like me only she has bigger boobs. But really she is my favorite person and I can't wait to introduce her to some of my favorite people and places. Also, we need to hang out in a hot tub so if anyone wants to volunteer their hot tub...Also if you happen to hear of any jobs pleeease let me know.

Happy grammy night. Amy and I are gonna watch and order yummy jewish food from Jerry's. I can taste the Matzah ball soup right now.

I used to be obsessed with vitamin water and I still kind of am but my favorite kind (defense which is raspberry and apple) seems very rare. The only place I've ever seen it is at my little breakfast burrito place.



Mmmm breakfast burritos.



My new obsession is Sobe Life Water in Pomegranate Cherry. So wonderful.



Has anyone watched the new mtv show Maui Fever? Ok, i do not think Chaunte is hot at all. I actually think she looks like a beast. I don't understand why all the guys want her. I feel like guys think that just because you have blonde hair and big boobs you are automatically hot. As Kristie would say "she should be hot" but she's just not.



Like Kristin on Laguna beach was bitchy but she was really hot. I'm sorry but one can not compare this Chaunte girl to Kristin. Plus she's super annoying. And I don't think any of the guys on the show are hot. Anthony is kind of hot, i'd probably do him if it wasn't illegal but that is all. I am not entirely sure why I watch Maui Fever.



What is everyone doing for the superbowl? I have a couple of options but I like to know ALL of them.



I've recently decided that I hate my job. I never loved it but I was tolerating it and even starting to reap some of the benefits. When I first started I didn't want to look greedy and take too many dvd's so i would take a dvd here and a dvd there. Now everyday is like Christmas.



I'm like I saw Babel and I didn't really like it but it's possible that someone could come to my apt and want to watch it. I took a season of south park in case I ever decide to get into it. Half of the movies I've taken I didn't particularly want to see and I haven't watched them yet but my apt is turning into a mini blockbusters, I love it. .



I've also generously given dvd's to friends. And not just friends even people I don't really like. I'll be cruising their myspace profiles out of boredom and be like oh they like that movie, i'll overnight them one. That's me, Santa Sammi.



Considering that my position is not permanent, i get no benefits and all i do is input dvd requests, answer 4 phone lines consisting of people yelling at me wondering where their dvds are (probably with my friends) and do expense reports and travel, i definitely feel like I deserve a perk.



I haven't had pinkberry in a while. I think I need it.



I never thought I would meet a guy who has all the qualities I look for. Tall, dark and hot, smart, funny, challenges me, and who after I hook up with him I want him to stay. A lot of times I'll be hooking up with a guy and either want to get out of there or if I sleep there I'll want my space, i'm not a huge cuddler. So if I want to stay and I want to cuddle then I know I really like him. Well, I did meet a guy like this who has everything I want and I can never be with him. Would you like to know why?



BECAUSE GOD HATES ME



Just kidding. Sort of. I'm not giving up hope yet after all I am only 25.



Sooo in case you were wondering tonight I am going to Les Deux. Tomorrow night I am not sure yet. I am sort of getting sick of everywhere. But you know you'll hear all about it on Monday. You know you love it

case you couldn't tell by the title of my blog...I am sick. I have a sore throat, fever, stuffy nose, cough, basically if it is listed on the nyquil bottle then I have it. But I decided to come back to work today for 2 reasons

1) I can actually walk today without the room spinning in circles

2) I don't get paid if I don't.

As you can see, I am being very productive. Everyone who looks at me or hears me speak tells me to go home. But anywho, here goes

Last Wed, Kristie and I went to this Donald Trump event at Les Deux. In case you haven't heard the Donald has started his own vodka called "Trump Vodka." I know you are all just trying to contain your excitement right now.

The night was fun though. I saw Simon Rex who is just so hot. Brandon Davis who really is not. Haylie Duff, Rachel Hunter, and I think that is all. Next we headed over to Element because Average Marc told me Johnny Bananas from RW Key West was there. Ok, ok so I know i said no more reality stars but I just love him. I met him in Vegas last summer and not only is he so hot but he's also nice.

Friday, I went to Bar 21 to celebrate Pumkin from Flavor of Love's Birthday. Ok I don't really know who Pumkin is, and I don't really watch Flavor of Love but CR kept telling me if I went to Bar 21 I would get free drinks. Free drinks make me happy and this is the best part...They have lychee martini's there and CR makes them sooo good.

Kristie and I made a deal. She said if I randomly went up to this guy and started kissing him she would do the same thing to another guy. Soo i go up to this guy and tell him I need to kiss him for two seconds. It turns out he was completely fine with this so we kiss and then it's Kristie's turn but she did not do it. Grrr Kristie. It's ok though. I know she didn't really think I'd do it but I always accept a dare.

Sat we went to Les Deux again (I sort of live there) for another birthday party. Sunday I got sick. Being sick really sucks. You really take feeling well for granted you know? I mean I never wake up and say "Damn I feel ok today" until after I get sick and then I am grateful to feel well for a couple days before I start totally taking it for granted again. I want to die right now. But being sick has given me time to ponder some thing...

Why it is that when a celebrity is racist, or anti-semetic, or has relations with underage girls, or does something else really stupid, they just check into rehab? I think next time i do something dumb like get drunk and sleep with my best friends boyfriend I'll just check into rehab and that will make everything ok!

Quizno's really has more meat than subway.

If you are supposed to feed a cold and starve a fever what do you when you have a cold and a fever? Cause I have both and I'm not sure if I'm supposed to eat. I don't particularly feel like eating but the thought of eating doesn't make me sick or anything. Please advise.

Anyway, it looks like I'll be taking it easy this weekend :-( I want to get better now. Waaaahhhhh. This is why I need a hot boy to bring me chicken soup and give me a sponge bath or something.

Being home in Pikesville was nice but waayy too short. I had a mini JARS and sisters reunion at cheesecake for my birthday dinner and then it was off to Italy. It all started out when we got to the Newark airport. We had to get on this train to take us to the terminal, so my dad gets on and then the doors close! So my mom, sister and I watch my dad ride off into the sunset without us and thus began the Waranch family vacation (not to worry we got on another train 2 minutes later).

After 8 hours on the first flight at our layover in Rome, I was a bit delirious and decided this would be the perfect time to have what I like to call my quarter life crisis. First, I got really mad and started screaming at my sister because she said she might not get a labrador when she gets older. I started yelling about how she was being disloyal to our labrador who is so wonderful and clearly doesn't love her and other things that were just completely insane. This led to "I hate my job, i don't know what I want to do with my life or where I want to live, I have no guy in my life anymore and no prospects, you get the picture." We finally got to Italy, I took a nap and I was cured.

When we got there we went to the Ferragamo museum. I would like to point out that I hate museums. I am not very cultural or deep but at least I know this. However, this was a museum of shoes!!! Now that is my kind of museum.The first night we ate dinner at this lovely restaurant called Goldenview which is on the Arno River.

*Note: I am going to mess up many Italian words and places. I do not wish to offend anyone. Coley feel free to correct me. I forgive you for not getting a lab.

Friday we hiked up the piazza Michaelangelo but it was worth it for the beautiful view of the city. I also got to see where my sister lived when she studied in Florence which was fun. Next we saw the statue of The David which I absolutely loved. He is like this perfect, beautiful man except his dick is extremely tiny. Figures.

Afterwards we went to the market and got this soup called Rubbalita which is yummy. It's this breaded vegatable soup which sounds weird but trust me it's good.

For dinner my sister decided to take us to her favorite restaurant to get Peccarino and Pear ravioli. So we make a reservation, go into the restaurant and my sister realizes it was the wrong restaurant and she now had no idea where to get this infamous ravioli. So after sitting down and not loving the menu we leave and go to a different restaurant.

Friday we went to Sienna which was beautiful. I walked up this tower up 300 flights of stairs. ME walking up 300 stairs. But somehow I did it and once again the view of Sienna was gorgeous. At the museum in the tower there were these amazing frescoes and one was of the virtues and what live would be a like if you followed the virtues (a utopia) and what life would be if you didn't and the devil ruled the world. I found the world ruled by the devil to be much more interesting which makes me worry. I also don't understand why lust is a sin. I lust a lot.

We ate lunch in this square that was filled with pigeons. I am petrified of pigeons, I think they are horrifying. My mom told me if I ever did anything to embarrass her she would send me a dead pigeon. I think i won't be opening up her packages anymore. Since I already have lots of designer bags (purses are my world) I decided to make it my mission to get a coat like Cameron Diaz's in "The Holiday." The coat I bought in Sienna really doesn't look anything like that but it's really cute.

Saturday night, after much research at the sketchy internet place my sister found the ravioli place and thank goodness she did because the Peccorino and Pear ravioli is better than sex. Welll better than sex with most people. In Italy they will sometimes give you champagne with your meal which is just fantastic. My sister and father decided to find a bar to watch the Ravens game but I became an old lady in Italy and had a very hard time staying up past 9.

Saturday we went to another museaum which I can't remember the name (Borgio?) and the Pitti Palace. The Boboli gardens are beautiful and reminded me of the sound of music. My sister told us about this place where we could get big sandwiches and I love me a big sandwich. Unfortunately the place was closed so we went to some random pasta place. My mom fell flat on her face in the middle of the restaurant. I love my mother dearly but this was quite possibly the highlight of my trip. Next, we went to this synogague which is like the one thing my father wanted to see so of course it was closed. We call Sunday our "day of nothing going right" day.

I really wanted to find a hot Italian man to ride me around on his scooter. This did not happen. But all in all I had an amazing time in Florence. My sister was the greatest tour guide. I love Gelato. But I have to say I am glad to be back in America where people speak English and I am soooo exhausted.

In other events please vote for me for Hollywood prom queen and tell your friends to vote. If I win I will buy you shots with my prize money. I know that sounds like a bribe and well it sort of is.

www.hollywoodprom2007.com

I'd also like to post my newest new years resolution

No more reality stars. I've hooked up with a few and they've all been disasterous. I think i'll stick with average joes (but not anyone who was on average joe except Marc who i adore) and actors. Actors are okay and musicians. Just not reality stars.

Ciao for now

I guess you could say my birthday celebration started off on Tuesday night when my roommates cooked me a yummy dinner. In case you were wondering food is the way to my heart. Although jewelry and flowers are nice too.

Friday night I went to Cabana with my favorite girls. It was actually pretty uneventful although a nice night and drama free which was a nice change. After Cabana, Kristie and I went to my favorite late nite place...Denny's (I'm a classy girl) for some chicken wings of course.

Saturday we had so much to do for the lingerie party. First we picked up the Deluscious cookies which are pretty much my favorite thing ever. Next, Kristie and I went shopping for lingerie. It's so funny to me that Trashy Lingerie is sort of like a club. You have to pay $2 to get in for your membership only to then pay like a million dollars for lingerie. I got this really cute polka dotted white, black and hot pink of course litte outfit. It was very see through and scandalous but it's my party and i think by now we all know that I can be scandalous sammi.

I made the chocolate covered strawberries and set up the bowls of condoms. I put a magnum condom on top and decided that whoever took that one would be my birthday present. Just kidding sort of. This is the first year where I actually have a group of hot fun girl friends in LA who I love. So I was so excited to show them off.

I was a little nervous since the past 2 lingerie parties were so much fun and this one had such high expectations BUT i think everyone had a good time. I know I did. Let's just say rescuing a dog that doesn't need to be rescued can really bring two people closer together. My favorite comedians Adam Hunter and Jay Davis showed up which was nice. Sextoy Dave (who has the best parties at the sex toy mansion) brought me the best present ever...Sex toys!

Eric, provided the porn and bought me Jenna Jameson's book which I must tell you is extremely involving. Last night i stayed in the bath for like 2 hours because I couldn't put it down. I also finally got to see Brianna loves Jenna. I am strangely fascinated with Jenna Jameson. Thanks Eric!

I have to give props to my friend Catherine. Just when I thought the party was dying down she brought a whole crop of random guys including a guy who insisted on dancing in his underwear to Elton John (don't ask). I am not sure entirely what went on in my bedroom or the bathroom but uh it is a lingerie party after all.

I then cleaned and mopped (in lingerie it was hot) although apparently not up to some people's standards but I tried and think I did a pretty freakin good job especially in my drunken state. My bed was being occupied so I managed to get 2 hours of sleep on the couch before waking up to go to the airport. I thought I couldn't sleep on the plane but I pretty much woke up and we landed so I guess I can!

Today, for my actual birthday I had a dentist appointment which is always a good time. They told me I need to floss or my teeth will fall out. You probably don't care though. Then my sister and I got tattooes. It was pretty much a bday of torture. We both got the word "fate" written in cursive on our lower stomachs because we are strong believers in destiny and that everything happens for a reason. I also touched up my stars which look so much better. I can't believe my innocent little sister got a tattoo but I love that we did this together and will always have it.

I got a digital camera so get ready for me to the annoying camera girl. And i can stop stealing laura's slide shows even though they are fantastic.

Tomorrow my birthday celebration will continue with my best friends taking me out to dinner and going out pikesville style to federal hill. I love birthdays and lingerie. and my friends. Speaking of which, thank you all so much for all your calls and messages. I feel loved and I love you.

In case you wonder over the next few weeks why I haven't been blogging or posting bulletains don't fret, I haven't died. But I leave for Italy on Wednesday and so my myspace additiction will be put on hold.

This birthday was amazing and to all the people who celebrated with me, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I can't believe i'm 25 ahhhhh. I think I need to make my sister take me to towson diner to cute my quarter life crises with some pancakes.

xoxo have a great week everyone

My First Real Christmas and Fred

Friday night I went to Les Deux. There is nothing too exciting to report except seeing Kevin Federline. I will go back to my original statement. There is nothing too exciting to report.

Saturday it was time for my personal holiday. Many people don't understand why I would get a hotel in LA when I have my own apartment. I will tell you why. I love hotels, I think they are fantastic. Does my apartment have room service? I say no. Does my apt have the tropicana bar? Once again this would be a no. Does my apt have a pool? I think you are getting the point. Anyway, a couple of my girls came to celebrate my personal holiday with me at the Roosevelt. We had one drink (or well really I had one drink) at the Tropicana bar. We then changed into sweats and hit up 25 degrees which is the yummy late night food place at the hotel and got some grilled cheese and tomato soup to go. We then went up to my room, ordered John Tucker Must Die and it was wonderful. The next morning, I had lemon fricotta pancakes delivered to my door which I then ate in bed while watching The Breakfast Club before laying out by the pool for an hour and ok it was cold and I was in sweats but it was lovely. Still don't understand why I'd get a hotel?

I love the Roosevelt hotel but I am convinced it is definitely haunted but actually I think that is partly why I love it. In the middle of the movie the tv started doing weird things. We think it was Marilyn Monroe trying to send us some sort of sign. The Roosevelt has extremely disturbing pictures hanging on the wall but instead of hiding the picture in the closet like I did last time I stayed there, I tried to come to peace with the picture so the ghosts would not get mad.

One time, at the Roosevelt hotel I was having a really bad night but then I ended up making out with this guy I had a big crush on and that is another reason I love it there. Go Roosevelt Hotel!

Sunday I drove to Huntington Beach to celebrate my first real Christmas with Christine and her family. Unfortunately, I missed the caroling so we just listened to Christmas music on her tv. Did you know there is a band of dogs and cats that sing christmas songs? You learn something new everyday. Christine's house is so cute and they have a hot tub which I really think should be a necessity everywhere. We also watched "Over the Hedge" which was just so great. I think I'm going to have to take a copy for myself tomorrow at work. Yes, that is the one perk of my job. This morning, I watched Christine and her family open presents and actually I love watching people open presents. I mean I like getting presents more but it is fun to see the joy on people's faces when they receive gifts. However, the look on Christines face when she received "Fred" was not so much joy.

'"Fred" is a big phone handle that you attach to your cell phone so that it looks like you are talking on a big retro phone. According to the package "Fred" prevents radiation and your mom will love it. And it's name actually is Fred, I didn't make that up although I admit it's something that I would do. Fred does not fit easily into one's purse, he sort of makes you look like a loony bin and we are not entirely sure what Fred's purpose is. We were sticking Fred's thing into lots of holes and decided that Fred is a whore. (By wholes i mean little holes at the top of your phone) I told Christine that Fred was a great way to meet men. She could be walking down the street talking on Fred and some guy could be like what is that nifty device you have and Christine would say "oh this is Fred" and then the guy would whip his phone out of his pocket and he'd have Fred too. Then they would get married. I have a feeling Christine will never do this. I should mention that Christine and her family were nice enough to give me my own Rudolph stocking filled with presents. My first Christmas was very joyful.

I drove home from Orange County and decided it would be fun to see "Black Christmas" by myself. Not my best idea. I have to tell you this might be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I thought it actually was the worst but then I remembered another movie I've seen entitled "Motor Home Massacre" and this was better than that. But it was soo bad, and not even scary but now I am alone in my apt for the next few days and sort of scared anyway. But you see us jews have Christmas traditions too. Every Christmas we see a movie and then eat chinese food. So after my (bad) movie, I ordered in chinese food. I celebrated a real Christmas and the jewish version all in one day! So, i'm exhausted time for bed.

Hope your holiday was wonderful too!

I Rescued a dog that didn't need rescuing with Kevin Connelly's Friends...And other Randomness

I used to think that even if I had a regular 9-6:30 job I would still go out on weeknights since I love going out so much. It turns out I was completely wrong. Generally speaking, after a long, hard day at work I want to come home, eat something yummy that I don't have to make, watch some tv and go to bed. Yes, folks I am getting old.

However, when Average Marc invited me to an event on Wednesday I couldn't say no. It was the opening of the new Sideways Lounge (located right next to Cabana) and it turns out the night was being hosted by my favorite Prettyboys. I think I would have had a much better time if I was a man. I say this because the event was sponsored by Player magazine. They gave out cologne, had people there to shave your face (yes you read that correctly) and the drink of choice was whisky. Fortunately, they had vanilla flavored whisky which actually was pretty good.

I have a confession to make. Up until that night I had no idea what "on the rocks" meant. Or what "Neat" meant. So when they asked me if I wanted my whisky neat or on the rocks I was like umm...so the girl looked at me for a second like I was 12 and then explained that on the rock was ice. That makes so much sense because ice sort of looks like rocks. I am not sure why no ice makes it "neat" but I still have much to learn.

Friday night I went to Les Deux my new favorite place. At first I was upset because there were no good sightings except David Spade who goes there every Friday, wears a v-neck sweater over a button down shirt and flirts with all the waitresses. But then in walks...MCSTEAMY and let me tell ya, he is every bit as steamy in person.

Some guys invite us over to Jessica Biel's table to celebrate her brothers graduation party. Her brother Justin is pretty steamy himself but his friends were kind of weird. So we ditched them and somehow I end up in a car with Kevin Connelly, his friend who I will call David because I am 99% sure that is his name, and Amy's gym friend. We go to some bar right next to a XXX movie theatre and it was fun for like 10 minutes but then I wanted to go. So David (?) takes Amy and I home. We drop Amy off and here is where the story gets really strange.

David spots a dog (or a wolf we weren't completely sure) lying on the side of the road and it looked as though it had been hit by a car. I absolutely will not leave a hurt animal so we pull over and we are not entirely sure what to do. David told me not to pet it even though my first instinct was to make it calm. I thought about calling the police or finding an animal hospital to take it to but then David noticed that it had a tag. So I risk getting bitten and look at the tag and it turns out this poor, sweet dog is named Maggie and there was a phone number on the tag. So at 3:30 am David calls this number and asks the owners if they had lost a dog and tells them we think it got hit by a car. The owners come outside and strangely don't seem all that concerned. They tell us that Maggie is very old and sometimes her legs give out on her. So they pick her up, prop her on her feet and Maggie walks off completely fine.

DOES THIS KIND OF STUFF HAPPEN TO ANYONE ELSE?

Even though I probably will never see David again, I will feel forever connected to him for sharing the traumatic experience of resuing a dog that actually was completely fine.

Saturday I saw the 'Dreamgirls" screening at Paramount. I really liked it and I keep singing the songs which is unfortunate for anyone near me. I have to disagree with my hero Perez Hilton a little because while clearly Jennifer Hudson stole the movie I thought Beyonce did a pretty good job. Saturday night, I decided to stay in. Everyone kept asking me if I felt ok but sometimes you just need a night alone with sweats, junk food and some good movies. Do you guys remember the movie Airborne? It's so wonderful, it was really the perfect night. And in the words of Cher from clueless "Sometimes I have more fun just veging out then when I go out partying. Maybe it's cause my party clothes are so binding." Call me crazy but I think I'm starting to get over the whole scene a little. Maybe it's because I am turning The big 2-5 soon.

I just got back from the survivor finale party and i am a liltle drunk. Kristie and Kyong came with me I can always count on them to come out no matter the day, the weather, whatever (that sort of rhymes). Anywho, I maybe saw Jonnty for like 2 seconds but that is ok because these are his people. Survivor's are like jews, they stick together. I was telling people crazy things because this is what i do when i am drunk. Someoe asked how Jonny and I met and I told him that one night I got rreally drunk and just woke up in some strange bed and was really scared but then I realied it was Jonny Fairplay. This is actually not how Jonny and I met. I would like to talk about Kristie for a minute. I love her she cracks me up. I feel as though we always get into trouble but good trouble. Speaking of trouble I sort of got in trouble at the bathroom but that is all I have to say about that. I love hypnotic because it is blue and blue is the color of the sky.

My apt is so cold. Brrr. This reminds me of a game I used to play with my sister called "The Brrr game" we pretended that we were homeless and lived in a box and we'd say brr. it wasn't very fun.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. No siree. But I have some announcements to make right now

1) Saturday night I am spending my personal holiday at the roosevelt hotel. Let me know if you will be around and you come to my hotel room. That sounds like I'm a prostitute but this is a friendly invitation.

2) Don't forget about my lingerie party on Saturday, January 6th. I want to see you all there in your underwear. Rhymes again I am so good.

3) I am drunnk

4) I wish I had some chicken wings right now but I just don't. I wish I could adopt Denny and by Denny I mean the guy who created Denny's.

I love you all. And I'm not just saying this, I actually love you all. Well maybe not all of you. Actually probably not most of you but definitely some of you. Myspace is a place for Love. I don't really love Tom though i deleted him. Not like I have anything against Tom he is jsut Tom. Tom spelled backwards is Mot.

I put that my current mood was exanimate. I have no idea what the hell that means.

Goodnight

I found this old bulletain I posted and think it is really funny if I do say so myself. Enjoy

Why is it that the guys you really want to call you never call and the guys you are a complete lunatic too because you don't really want to talk to them call you the next day?

I'm going to tell you a little story.

Saturday night Laura and I went to L'Scorpion. They have fantastic honeydew margharita's. They also have Leche Margharita's. Any place that has leche is a place for me. Ok, this is so not the point. So Laura and I are drinking and this guy comes up and tells me I look unhappy.

*Note: I HATE when guys at bars tell me to smile. Am I just supposed to walk around with a huge smile on my face all the time? I think not. So I told him my cat died. Then i pretended to cry. Hysterically.

Gradually, Laura and I made up a story. My 20 year old cat Tinkerbell also known as "tinkerhell" (she was a bad kitty) was hit by a truck. We were having a memorial service the next day at Tolucca lake which I asked this guy to attend. I also told him to bring Gardenia's which are Tinkerhell's favorite flower.

It's important to note that I never had a cat. In fact, I hate cats.

This guy actually felt really bad for me. He kept giving me hugs and buying me leche margharita's. Then he introduced me to his friend whose name was (brace yourself...Damien Tinker!!) After asking to see his id i told him that he was my soul mate because his last name was the same as my the first half of my dead cat's name. I then grabbed him, started kissing him and proceeded to plan our wedding. I told him that i wanted a fall wedding (September 23rd to be exact) I love fucking with guys at bars.

Anyway, Damien went away (apparently he scares easily) and the first guy told me how he really wanted to go out with me. I don't know who is crazier me or him. Then he called. He actually called me!!

There is a guy i want to call who hasn't called and this guy did. Whyyy???

 I love Christmas. I love christmas songs, all the pretty lights, egg nog and just this wonderful time of the year.

*Note: I am Jewish

Don't get me wrong, I am extremely proud of being Jewish and I want my people to thrive but our holidays just aren't as fun as Christmas. On Yom Kipor we fast and repent for our sins. On Passover we are not allowed to eat bread. Sure, we have eight nights of hannukah but we have no tree, no fun songs, no Santa. It's like our people have been through enough, can't for once we decorate eggs like on easter or walk around caroling?

Since, I am taking off a week and a half of work in January to go to Italy with my family, for the first time ever in my life I will not be home for the holidays and it's sort of sad. My mom told me to get a hotel room and have my own personal holiday. I am sort of hoping I will meet Jude Law like in the movie "The Holiday" which I saw today. After Babel and The Fountain, it was so nice to see a feel good romantic comedy and it gave me hope for my personal holiday. I can see it now...

I arrive in my hotel all by myself prepared for a night of room service and chick flicks. On a whim, I go check out the pool hot tub in a little black bikini and spot a hot guy. It turns out that he too is alone for the holidays. We wander around the hotel, befriend a lonely old person who shares our sad predicament and then cause some mischief, before having passionate sex all night long. The conflict arises in the morning when we wonder if this one night where we were both lonely and vulnerable can actually turn into something more. We say that maybe it should just be one perfect Christmas night and nothing more. So we both leave the hotel and go our seperate ways.

But Wait!

 I come back to my apt only to find hot holiday guy, who I think I will name Shawn cause i really like the name Shawn, sitting on my steps. We kiss and decide there is no reason we can't give this a shot cause i mean we both live in LA and the magic of our love can live beyond christmas and beyond the hotel.

Ok i am delusional. Since this is never going to happen please let me know if you will be in LA for Christmas. You can come to my hotel and share my room sevice.

Thursday night was the Paramount Christmas party. Since I have been at Paramount for two years and especially now that I don't love my job, I have started to take for granted that I work at a studio. I used to love the old hollywood feeling and I still do but now Paramount is just where I work. If they are filming something I no longer stop to watch. When I pass the Nip Tuck doctors walking around in their robes, ok i still check them out but the magic is definitely a little lost. Except at this time of the year. Paramount has been transformed into kind of a winter wonderland. There are lights everywhere and a huge christmas tree and it's so beautiful.

Since my position is still a temporary one I didn't think I'd get to go to the Christmas party but my boss somehow managed to get me a pass. My other boss didn't know this and so she made me a fake pass that looked so real and this is why I can not quit my job anytime soon. It's rare, especially in Hollywood to find a boss who would make you a fake party pass.

After Brad Grey spoke and the christmas tree was lit, we walked through the Bronson gate onto white carpet and fake snow that looked and felt so real coming down on us. There was a ferris wheel, a dance floor, an ice skating rink, in & out burger and pink's hot dogs. Paramount knows how to throw a party and I remembered why I love it there. Although not so much right now. I always love Paramount much more on Thursday nights then on Sundays.

Friday, Kristie was nice enough to take me as her date to the Insider/Entertainment Tonight Christmas party. It was so nice to see everyone and to see everyone all dressed up and looking so nice. It is always strange to see people you work or used to work with wasted though.

Afterwards, I met up with my friends at Cabana to celebrate Pretty boy Justin Kelly's birthday party. I knew it would be good as soon as I walked in and was handed a cock necklace (and by cock i mean rooster). So whenever weirdo's hit on me I could tell them I already had a cock. I plan to wear this necklace a lot. Mr. Belding was there (we took a picture with him) and Steve from 90210. Good times.

After Cabana, I somehow was talked into going back to Justin's for the after party. Some guys tried to steal our cab but we won the fight and got the cab. However, these guys ended up back at Justin's. More on them later. There was a fight with Justin's neighbors, drama and more drama so at about 4:30 am I was so ready to leave. The boys who tried to steal our cab offered to share a cab home with us so since Fatima and I had $20 between us we agreed. Well, the guys got out of the cab and THEY DID NOT PAY. We yelled at them, the cab driver got out of the cab and yelled at them and like the immature, asshole losers that they are they actually hid from us. So they got a free cab ride but if I ever see them again they will get a kick in the nuts.

Saturday night Ashley had a little shindig and then Amy and I headed to Les Deux. I think Les Deux might be my new favorite place. I was a little concerned since it is outside and was raining sooo I texted pretty boy Dean and asked what happened at Les Deux when it rains. He wrote back "the roof gets wet." Amy had to explain to me that he meant that Les Deux actually has a roof. I'm a little slow on the uptake sometimes. Dean told me I would get along very well with his dog. Not sure how to take that one.

Speaking of dogs, I just read Marley and Me. Everytime I passed it in bookstores I stopped and thought about buying it because the cover is so freakin cute but whenever someone writes a book about a dog you kind of know how it's going to end and I just didn't think I could handle it. After Thanksgiving, I needed a book for the plane ride home and told my dad I was thinking about getting Marley and Me. He told me that he had it. So I read part of it on the plane but finally finished at my apartment and thank heavens I was not around people for that because I was BAWLING.

In books and movies it always makes me sadder when animals die than when people do and even though Marley led a very long and happy life it hit close to home because Marley reminds me so much of my own labrador Bria and she is turning 11 soon. Bria never was expelled from obedience school and she certainly wasn't in a movie but she did drop chinese food on her head after she jumped up on the table and tried to eat it Or there was the time when she knocked over an old man at a softball game,stole his hat and ran around happily with it. My sister and I used to walk her together with two leashes because she is so big and she pretty much walked us. I'll never forget when I woke up to screams only to find my dog had dragged my sister down our huge muddy hill on her ass. And yet she is the one creature I know that does not have a mean bone in her body. She knows when I am sad or sick and when to be gentle and not jump on people. Like when she said goodbye to my grandmother and just layed next to her in bed and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

Bria can never die.

Anyway, despite the fact that it made me cry I adored "Marley and Me" and definitely recommend it especially if you have or have had a crazy,
wonderful dog who you love more than most people.

I don't know how to use a can opener. I think there are basic life skills that were never instilled in me. I only buy cans of food that have that thing that allow you to pull up and open the can. If I want a certain soup and it doesn't have that pully thing then that is just too bad.

I think I've rambled on long enough. Maybe i'll have a sad Christmas but I do have some exciting things coming up. My birthday which I am still trying to decide if I am having my infamous lingerie party. They are always a huge success and people always get lucky but I don't know if third time will be a charm. Next week, the survivor finale party hosted by Jonny and Ryno will be fun. I got my friend Eric to invite Perez Hilton so you know how excited I would be if I met him. My first new years in LA should be good and then off to Italy where I plan to eat lots and lots of carbs.

Seriously though let me know if you will be in LA for the holidays.

xoxo

My poor phone has been through a lot. It all started in Vegas this summer when I got drunk and held my purse under a sink of running water when I was washing my hands. The next day my phone went sun bathing by the Palms pool and while it did not make a full recovery, it was functional and I was happy.

 I just got back to work and discovered that the temp who covered for me last week did absolutely nothing. Sooo instead of catching up I've decided to be completely unproductive and write a happier thanksgiving blog because my last one was depressing even for me (Little Raincloud)

Wednesday night is always like a Pikesville reunion and this year it was at a different bar called the Red Maple. Jonny Fairplay was in Baltimore and so met up with me and my friends. I was a little nervous for this. My sister hates him not because he lied about his grandmother dying or is the most hated reality personality. No, she hates him because he once called her 5 am to tell her that I died in a car crash. Even though I was yelling frantically in the background that I was alive, she is a little bitter and well I can't say that I blame her. But luckily everyone got along. I don't remember all that much about the night at Red Maple except they have um nice bathrooms there.

ANYWAY, i guess i thought i was gonna get lucky later that night because i woke up in really hot lingerie (i have no recollection of putting it on). I thought that was funny.

Thanksgiving dinner was good, I think I ate the world. There is always one person at Thanksgiving dinner who puts their foot in their mouth in addition to all the food and this year it was my cousin's counsin's friend (there's a mouthful for ya). Of course we all felt my grandmothers absense and so my Uncle's brother Aaron asked if the amazing sweet potatoes were my grandmother Peggy's recipe. I nodded and the friend said "Well I need to get Peggy over here to make me some sweet potatoes." There was a horrified silence, nervous laughter and then an awkward toast to my grandmother. I love thanksgiving.

Friday was my grandmothers unvailing and my cousin, sister and I had the job of actually unvailing the tombstone. We were simply to removed a sheet from the grave but I knew if there was anyway to mess this up then I would. But it turns out pulling a sheet off of a tombstone is actually pretty easy and so her unvailing was good as far as unvailings go.

Then my sister, my dad and I saw "The Fountain." I do not recomend this movie at all. It was horrible and depressing (although it actually goes along well with the theme of my thanskgivings) and i didn't really understand it. My father spent the entire car ride home explaining it to me but that didn't make it any better. I will never understand why bald futuristic Hugh Jackman was floating up yoga style in a bubble. And when he bacame a tree I'm sorry but I just laughed and my sister laughed and then my father laughed and people glared at us.

On plane rides I am always in the middle seat and this time i was seated next to a girl who had a blow up pillow around her neck, a sleep mask, and headphones. So when i really had to pee it was just so awkward. She can't hear or see me so should i wake her and tap her or climb over her and hope i don't fall on her or kick her? I debated this for 2 hours before i couldn't take it anymore, woke the bitch up and went to the bathroom.

I
'm seriously considering moving to New York after this summer. My sister is going to live there and I've always planned on moving back east and i'm not ready to move back to Baltimore yet. Even though i've never had a strong desire to live in New York it is the only place back east i could see myself and I love my sister and friends there plus I'd be so close to my family which is my main motivation. I absolutely love LA and would be so sad to leave so it's not definite at all just something i'm thinking about.

I've also decided i need a boyfriend and not for the main reasons girls want boyfriends (love, support blah blah) i want someone to pick me up at the airport and get my bags. I always panic when my bag comes off the thing because it's always so big and i have to get it off and i usually have trouble and hit people with it and i find myself praying it will land at a good angle so i don't have to like crawl up on the thing. Yes, it would be nice to have a strong man to do this for me. He will also have to be patient because my bag is always the last to come out. Just when i think they've lost my luggage and the baggage claim in pretty much cleared out and the same bags have gone around 20 times, that is precisely when my bag pops out.

Maybe if i dressed cuter on planes a hot guy would just help me but i don't understand people who get all dressed up to sit in a confined space for 5 hours. I prefer to wear sweats, no make up and my hair in a bun. Sometimes men help me with my bags but usually they are not hot. Except this one time when i was on a bus and my bag somehow shifted in that compartment under the bus to all the way inside and i literally would have had to crawl inside to get it. So this hot guy crawled inside to get it and i should have offered to buy him a drink or something but I just said thank you. That's probably the last time he crawled inside a bus.

But all in all I got to spend time with the fam, take lots of bubble baths, and play with my labrador Bria who is quite possibly the most wonderful thing ever.

I hope you all had a good holiday and you didn't see the fountain or go to any unvailings but just ate lots of sweet potoatoes and gave thanks for friends, family, love and sex :-)

I've decided that occassionally I am going to write blogs that are not cohesive and really have no point but are just random thoughts that I've been having.

In my last blog i mentioned that I love gingerbread latte's and ugg moccasin's but I didn't really elaborate on this. Generally, I am a coffee bean girl. I loooove coffee bean ice blendeds, ultimates and iced vanilla latte's. But there is a certain time every year when i go to starbucks everyday and get my fill of their holiday drinks. Now, I didn't just go to starbucks one day and say hmmm a gingerbread latte sounds good but they happened to be sampling them and seriously, they are like the best thing ever. I am also a fan of the peppermint mocha but it is rare that i will not order my gingerbread latte. I think we should petition to have them all year round.

I like them a latte.

Haha that was really lame.

Ugg mocasin's are fantastic. They are cute, you can wear them to work, they keep your feet warm and cozy and they feel like slippers. Perfect for my daily walks to dhl. Have I mentioned that I'd like to quit my job?

I wrote two screen plays and a book and I really want feedback so if you'd like to read them please let me know. Or even better if you know any writing agents who can discover me so that I actually can quit my job I promise I will mention you when I accept all of my awards.

Is anyone else dissapointed with Grey's Anatomy this season? Don't get me wrong I still love it but it's just lost something I feel. I will say though that McSteamy is the hottest man alive. I'd like to have him with a gingerbread latte.

I've recently become a make up whore. I think Mac black track fluid line and carbon eye shadow are so amazing. That is really neither here nor there.

I have a date tonight and I want to cancel it so I imed the guy and told him that I wasn't feeling well. He was very understanding. The only problem was it was the wrong guy! I imed this guy who i hooked up with over a year ago and haven't really talked to since. How do I do these things? Only me.

I
s anyone else addicted to the Nine? I love it. I am really scared that it is going to get cancelled and I will never find out what really happened in that bank. It's like the show "Reunion" on Fox. Reunion was my guilty pleasure. There was this group of friends and one friend was killed by another friend and every episode was another year that brought you closer to the truth. You finally found out which of the friends was killed but you never found out who killed her or why. I am still really mad about this. It makes me want to not watch tv ever again. Ok that's not true, but i really am mad. Who killed Sam? why????

Also, remember Models Inc? On the finale someone got shot and we never found out. I am still not over this. There is something else that I'm not over.

Do you remember those hotlines you could call? I think Corey Feldman had one and so did the tooth fairy and you would call the 1900 number and Corey or the Tooth Fairt would have a pre-recorded message for you? They were a complete waste of money and yet so brilliant because people actually called them. There was one hotline and it was called Freddy Pumpkin. He would tell you a scary story and at the end of the story he'd give you a password which would allow you to enter the haunted house.

So you enter the haunted house and you have to choose which room you would like to go into for example it would say "Press 1 if you'd like to go into the library or press 2 if you'd like to enter the dungeon" You would keep choosing rooms until you got killed by an evil demon or win but winning of course was very hard. So I called everyday and did a different combination of rooms until finally (and $200 later) I won. They gave me another code and an address and i wrote a letter with the code and never got my prize. This was like 15 years ago so I'm fairly certain that it is never coming. DAMN YOU FREDDY PUMPKIN.

Speaking of 1800 numbers I used to like to call them. There was 1800-I Hate You and you could send jet black roses to anyone you hate. There was also 1800 Fuck you and i think that one is pretty self explanatory. I would call and make kissing noises into the phone because i didn't really understand what phone sex was. You can imagine my mom's shock when she got a bill from a phone sex like for $100 and discovered her 10 year old daughter had been calling. My poor, poor mother. I was always a naughty girl.

So somehow i've managed to bring a blog about gingerbread latte's and uggs back to sex. AND i should be working. I want to quit. I would really like one of my famous and or succesful friends to hire me as their personal assistant. It will be so fun I'll bring you gingerbread latte's.

Sorry i had to add some stuff. And a very special thank you to Craig Clemens for inspiring me.

That song "Lips of Angel" by Hinder have you heard? I looove it, it's so pretty and catchy and the first time I heard it I was like wow I love this song. But then I heard it again and then again and I really listened to the worlds. The first time you hear it you might think wow here's this gy and he's in love with this girl and she has lips like an angel, how sweet. BUT on second listen you realize that this guy wants to cheat on his current girlfriend with his ex girlfriend who keeps calling him late at night and he talks to her while his current girlfriend is asleep in the other room!

First I was mad but then I thought to myself, I have hooked up with guys who have girlfriends. I've pursued guys that that have girlfriends and you might think this is horrible and ok it kind of is but sometimes you can't help yourself. Sometimes you meet a guy and you have a strong connection and you don't know he has a girlfriend until it's too late because you have already fallen. Or sometimes you had him first and you still have feelings for him. And this song is actually really honest and you kind of get a glimpse into the male mind and what is going through their heads when they are tempted to cheat on their girlfriends. And OK i have given this way too much thought but bottom line I LOVE THIS SONG.

I also need to talk about Perez Hilton for a second. Is anyone else completely addicted? I must check it 20 times a day. When I worked for The Insider this is sometimes how we found out about breaking news because this guy is so on top of everything. He's like God. And he's started his own language sort of like grey's anatomy everything is mcsteamy, mcdreamy, mcvet. I got out and i'm like there's kirsten drunkst, and manniston and sluttienna miller. or it's manolo blahniks birthday and there's princess frostilocks and the first reich or the gayken is performing on dr. phil today. And everyone who does not live in LA and check perez hilton 50 times a day is like um are you speaking English? I think we should make up a name for Perez's language. I love him, he is my hero. I always hope to see him at Pinkberry because he loves pinkberry, and i love pinkberry. And while i am talking about pinkberry these are my favorite flavors because i know you care:

Mango, raspberry, yogurt chips

Strawberry, banana, oreo

Pineapple, kiwi, chocolate chip

and then there is "the laura" which is yogurt chips, captain crunch and some type of fruit.

Ok i'm really done. Peace, love and chicken wings :-P

I've always loved Halloween because I love dressing up, and horror movies and candy. So maybe that is why I celebrated Halloween three nights in a row and it isn't even Halloween yet!

Friday night Kristie and I went to Cabana and we dressed up as walk of shame girls so we wore mens button down shirts, our bras hanging out, sex hair, and condoms taped to our shirts. My shirt was blue and Kristie's was white so everyone thought that she was Tom Cruise in risky business and people i think just thought i was crazy but whatever we looked cute i think.

Friday night I also came to a realization which is that I really need to stop going for guys who treat me like shit. I ALWAYS go for the assholes and I ALWAYS end up getting hurt. So up until a few days ago I was 75% single because even though I did what I wanted (because I knew he was doing what he wanted)  there was still a part of me that thought about him. I won't go into detail on myspace, I'll just say that I am now 100% single but as Amy said I will now be 25% more fun and she is not sure she can handle that because I was already such a barrel of fun.

So one relationship is over and another relationship was being tested and that is my relationship with Hollywood clubs. The past few weekends have been dissapointing and Saturday night we ended up at Mood but I think all things happen for a reason because my best nights in LA have all been at mood. But at first I was feeling cursed in all aspects of my life: my new job, love, even partying. And cabs.

Our cab driver took us this really strange route and Laura and I were convinced he was going the wrong way so for like 5 minutes were yelling at him to turn around but he refused and then we realized that he was in fact going the right way. Whoopsies. But to our credit he really didn't seem to know where he was going which was evident but his turning around 10 times on a one way street because he couldn't figure out how to get out of it and I was getting carsick. I asked him if he lived in LA long, he was not amused.

So at Mood i am sad and cursed and then Laura starts yelling at me to back up. I figured that with my recent luck someone was going to puke on me or something. Plus, Laura is the brains and the boobs of our friendship so when she yells at me to do something I don't ask questions, I just do it! So I back up and then right by my feet is...$140!!!! Laura freakin found $140 on the floor. The curse was lifted!!!

We then proceeded to get really, really drunk and I ended up having the best night. Yes folks, it got 140 times better.

Last night Laura and I went to this party hosted by "The Crue" at the LA theatre which was very fun. I was a deviant housewife. It wasn't something i really planned I just went to the store blue balls and tried stuff on. The deviant housewife costume came with all sorts of fun stuff to put in my apron like a spatula that says my husband is out of town, an empy pill bottle, a spoon. I knew i would lose everything by the end of the night and sure enough....i did!

On a sad note, my sea monkeys are dying. It was accidental manslaughter. My roommates mother killed them when she threw away their food (not really sure why she would do that). So now i think i am going to put my starving sea monkeys out of their misery and flush them.

I saw "Saw 3" by myself. I am crazy like that. I wouldn't really recommend it, it kinda sucked. But Jordan and his roommate from the Hills were sitting in front of me and they are really cute so I was watching them more than the movie.

Sometimes things just have to end. Relationships end, sea monkey's die and you have to grow up and trade in your fun job for a real one. But then you find $140 on the ground and hook up with a hot guy and life gets better and you see Saw 3 and realize that Jigsaw might put you in one his scary games for bitching about things that actually are very trivial. I mean if i woke up in one of his bone crushing devices hooked to an explosive i'd be like my job really isn't that bad, and this relationship was very unhealthy and had to end eventually so why not now, and i didn't even really like my sea monkeys because they sort of just look like tiny skeletons floating in the water, and I would be like I WANT TO LIVE. See how i put things into perspective??

Hope you all have a happy and safe halloween.

Story People

I am completely obsessed with "Story People" by Brian Andreas. They are these drawings that are sort of like colorful stick figures which is probably why I love them because that is the kind of art that I can relate to.

My sister is the artist in the family. I remember she asked my parents if she could paint our downstairs bathroom and to my complete amazement they agreed which shows how talented she is. I asked if I could paint a mural in the laundry room which i would call "dancing stick figures" but they said no. I just went off a tangeant so I will get back to my point.

They sell story people pictures and books in random art stores and I collect them and some people don't get them but to me they are so beautiful and make complete and perfect sense. Today my aunt (who heard I was having a hard time adjusting to my new job sent me a story people e-card! they make story people e-cards!!) Ok i know that i need a life but hey, it's the little things. I can always find a story people quote to match my mood so here is how I am feeling right now:

On Work:
"She has found the real problem with post it notes is that they don't stick in your head."

"I do much better as a goddess, she said, since my secretarial skills have always been limited"

On Love: (the kind of love i think i am finally ready for)
"He loved her for almost everything she was and she decided that was enough to let him stay for a very long time."

*Note: Six months is a long time for me

On Moving to LA and Doing my Thing

"For a long time, she flew only when she thought no one else was watching."

On My Grandma: it's almost one year :(
"I know she is not really gone, she said but the world still feels smaller to me today."

"She left pieces of herself everywhere she went , " it's easier to feel the sunlight without them , " she said .

On My Grandparents who are together now and the truest soulmates I have ever seen:
"My grandmother was big and solid. My grandfather was tall and thin. They looked like an unlikely couple. I asked them how they ended up together. My grandmother said she won him fair and square in an arm wrestling match. My grandpa just smiled. I let you you win, he said.

On my best friends:
"You're the strangest person I ever met, she said and I said you too and we decided we'd know each other a long time."

"When I first met her, I knew in a moment I would have to spend the next few days re-arranging my mind so there'd be room for her to stay."

On my sister:
"In the end I think that I will like that we were sitting on the bed talking and wondering where the time had gone."

On Not Stressing over the Little things (i've been much better this week)
"Everything changed the day she figured out there was exactly enough time for the important things in her life."

On Change
I'm a good jumper, he said. But I'm not so good at landing. Maybe you should stay closer to the ground, I said, and he shook his head and said the ground was the whole problem in the first place.
-Brian Andreas

On Life
"Your job is to focus on my personal happiness she said and I've got big plans so break time is over."

On wanting the world (but paying my dues)
"It's hardest to love the ordinary things she said. But you get lots of opportunities to practice."

Drunken way to get over a guy

My beautiful sister asked me to write a blog on how to get over a guy and although i already wrote a blog like this entiltled "so over it" i decided to write an even better one. This is not realy for me. I don't need to get over anyone right now i am happy. But some people might so you here ya go.

1) Eat chicken wings. Make sure they are boneless. And french fries, with ranch on the side. everything is better with ranch. And breakfast burrito's. Lots and lots of breakfast burrito's.

2) Have sex like a man with a random guy. It's liberating. After you are done having sex just leave. NO CUDDLING.

3) Text the asshole you are trying to get over randomly. Not all the time, we don't want to look like lunatics but sporadically, Don't say anything like "Hi, I love you" that is scary. Just write something like "hey it's been a while just sayin hi" or something. This way you keep yourself in his radar. If he really doesn't want you then you have nothing to lose. BUT if he is not sure then at least he's thinking about you. There is something i have learned about guys:

THEY ALWAYS COME BACK. They are sort of like cicadas.

Actually this is horrible advice. In fact everything i've told you is bad. If you listen to this you will gain weight from chicken wings with ranch and breakfast burrito's, become a whore and look like a loony bin. so just read my blog "so over it' that is better. But you know what chicken wings are good, and sometimes random sex is good and you really don't have anything to lose.

I am gonna get my drunk ass to bed. love you all tons. Breakfast burrito's on me.